Le Dieu en colère

The Bloody Mary

Black Pepper

Garlic Powder

Onion Powder

Celery Salt
Ice

Vodka, or gin, or white rum, or tequila blanco.

Tomato Juice

Celery Stalk

Mix spices in a tall pint glass, enough so that you can’t see the bottom.

Add Ice, fill to brim.

Add Vodka, or other any other clear alcohol, about an ounce and a half.

Fill with Tomato Juice.

Garnish with Celery Stalk.

How to drink:

Quickly.  

Hold your nose, close your eyes and think of England.

Drink these throughout a bad morning, or every morning, if you so choose. Drink at least one before consuming everything else. It’ll help keep everything down or, if you’re of a weak stomach, bring anything left back up. Either way, you win.

"I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God." This is my morning mantra. Not for every morning, mind you, for one of those mornings. The mornings you feel in your mouth, slimy and gunky, and in your eyes, closed but bloodshot. Where the world shimmers with an otherworldy brightness, and when you look around and wonder how all those other bastards can function in the crazy fucked up world around them. I speak, of course, of the hangover mornings. It is my hangover mantra and it is absolutely true. It is righteous punishment for the most unholy of sins; getting way too drunk. A day of pain, misery and general unease is my atonement, and with it my wickedness would leave my body. Along with the contents of my stomach.

On this particular Monday, however, I've decided to chronicle my quest looking for the answers of all the big philosophical questions in life, like "Are human beings inherently good?", "Is to possible for something to exist without being perceived?", "Is property theft?" and "What's six times seven?" Obviously, most of the answers to these questions will not be found at the bottom of the bottle, but how can we be sure unless we check?

Thusly, I have started this blog with the intention of providing you, dear reader, with the knowledge that life's biggest problems cannot be solved by drinking them away, but that won't stop me from trying! Also, for your entertainment, these answers will be interspersed with drink recipes and reviews, stories and anecdotes from my personal life and a generous heaping of drunken ramblings.